Today I am at home with a sick child. Instead of feeling frustrated, I always look at these days as an opportunity to spend more time with my kids. I just figure God is giving me a day to slow down, take care of myself and my kids and spend some precious time with them. It is a blessing in disguise.

I ran across an old devotional book and started looking through it. I have read it several times, but not in many years. It is a classic most people know. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it. "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It is awesome and it always pricks my heart when I need to hear from God. Today I read about Philippians 1:20-21

"My eager expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

This is the basis of being our utmost for His highest, being all we can be, our best for our Lord. To do that we have to surrender all. That is hard and requires courage. I, personally have struggled with this. I want to follow my own will most of the time and rarely ask what His will is. As awful as it sounds, the truth is the truth. I am fearful of what God may ask of me. I would rather make decisions based on my desires, security and logic, and what others expect than on what God tells me to do. That is my first instinct at least. With much prayer and surrender, I remind myself that His will is best no matter what the outcome or cost. What used to hold me back the most was fear of my decisions for God, hurting others around me. Yes, our obedience or sin always has a ripple affect and touches those around us. I finally had to give up the worry and follow God, leaving my loved ones in His hands, trusting He would take care of them too.

God's ways don't always seem to make sense. It forces us into a moment of crisis, whether to exercise our faith or not. Oswald Chambers calls this the "Great Divide". This is the moment that we decide to live for him or for ourselves, whether to trust Him or ourselves and the world. Will we surrender? I think the cost is worth it, no matter what it may be. Our God is worth everything. In the end He is all we really have. And what else could we want? He is our all in all. I am praying daily, moment by moment to trust Him for the plans He has for me and my family. It may sound simple and silly to some, but for me this is big. I hope you have the desire to do the same. I am praying for all of our faith, to grasp hold of all that He has for us so that we can be our utmost for His highest.