Happy Valentines Day

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! I hope your day is full of love. No one has to go without a valentine. Even when I was single and the dateless wonder, I always had a Valentine...My Lord-the King of love! In fact one year I was inspired to send my parents an anonymous gift of 3 roses (to represent the Trinity/and red for Christ's blood shed for us---the greatest gift of love ever!) and a card that simply read, "Please be my Valentine, Love God". They quickly figured out it was from me. I am the only person cheesy enough to do something like that. Anyway, it was one of my best Valentines ever.

Two of the other best Valentines were my first year dating Jason (now my husband). Yay! I really had a physical person as a valentine...ME...A date! Anyway. The other...and BEST Valentine ever was the year I had my second son, Sam. He was a great Valentine gift from God. I had him just hours before it turned Valentines Day. Today we celebrated his birthday with a small family party. He wanted it to be a Robot party. I never knew it would be such a difficult theme, but it was. My husband spent days trying to figure out a project for the kids to do that was somewhat Robotic. We ended up putting glowing light sticks from the dollar store around the living room and making robot helmets for all the kids out of buckets with a square cut out for colored transparent plastic to be put in as a window, a glow stick taped under it and then colored pipe cleaners as antenaes. It was fun. Not a particularly romantic day, but very special.

I hope everyone had a special day, one filled with little reminders of how much you are cherished by the Lover of our souls. Know that you always are and always will be loved. God went to great lengths to send you that Valentine message. He waits patiently for all to accept it. Will you be His Valentine?

The Color Purple or Purple-ishis

I have been listening to a CD about marriage relationships by Emerson Eggerich's called "Love and Respect". It is really good. I know, I know, I like to recommend books a lot. I admit I am somewhat of a bookworm. My hairdresser loaned it to me. She is amazing. Not only does she give amazing cuts and colors, but she ministers to all of her clients. She shares all of her books and CD's with her customers, prays for you and shares her connections around town. She just loves to serve others. What a woman of God! She has even helped sell my book and in the past has helped my husband get a job. She has all the hookups! Now that is what I call full service. If anyone needs a good hair stylist I highly recommend her. Her name is Barb Giordano and her office is at Kingspoint Village in Tulsa at the Bellisima Salon. Can you tell I like to brag on people? I only tell the truth.

Anyway, back to this Book. At first I was resistant to be totally honest. My flesh cringes at hearing that I need to respect my husband to get his love. But the truth hurts sometimes. It also talks about how the husband needs to show the woman love to get respect. Love is the woman's language and respect is the man's. It is each's deepest need. It does ring true. You can't expect a starving person to listen to the gospel when he is hurting and dying. You need to minister to the person's primary needs first, then they can hear and respond. Only then can the other make changes. It is just hard to be the first to start the process. We all tend to hold out for the other to make the first move and show love and respect first.

In all relationships there are deep wounds that occur, if only for the mere fact that the spouses' opinions matter so much to the other. Anyway, it is hard for me to let go sometimes, as bad as that sounds. Confession time. My heart gets hard and I dig in my heels and then I am disrespectful to the ones I love most. But I found something new and freeing today. Even if my spouse isn't honoring me or hasn't been in the past, I am not just doing it for him. I am doing what God wants me to do, being the wife, person that he wants me to be and honoring him in all that I do regardless of the results.

A big stumbling block for me is that I want to see results...and right away. I am not patient. But the results aren't up to me. They are up to God. I have to leave that work to Him. Now I know it sounds easy and like I am a saint if I can do that. Believe me, I am no saint, unfortunately. I struggle with it still! But it is so freeing to know that I can just do it for God. That takes me out of the cycle of expectations and frustration...expecting certain responses from my spouse only to be dissappointed. Now I can freely honor my husband because I am doing so to honor God. If I don't feel like showing respect, than I can focus on honoring God. That takes the sting out. Sorry, I know that sounds awful, I shouldn't struggle that much, but lets be honest, we all do. It may not seem like a lightening bolt moment of sublime revelation, but it helped me. (And I did not read this material because my husband is particularly difficult to get along with, it is just good information. No diggs meant for you honey).

The author also talked about men seeing things from a blue lense and women from a pink lense. To honor our spouse doesn't mean that a man has to become pink (feminine) and a woman blue (masculine). God did not intend for us to be that. He made us the way we are for a reason. So relax. But when we honor each other in a way that is meaningful to each of us, then we are honoring God and speaking his language, seeing things in his view. The pink and blue come together to blend into a beautiful purple. This is God's color, the color of royalty that we, as his heirs, sons and daughters, made in his image, were meant to be. Anyway, it may seem dorky, but it clicked for me. What was supposed to be a quick summary has become a long one, as usual. Sorry. I tend to be wordy. I love words. Maybe that is why I became a speech pathologist and like to write....Word Girl! Sorry, I have been watching too many kids shows lately with my boys. But to wrap things up, I want to be part of God's royalty and please God. Just the thought of causing a smile on His face....Well I hope we all behave in a purple royal fashion today and everyday. Let's be Purple-ishis!!!

Stayed home today again with a sick child. I know I have said it before, but I love these days! It is stressful to reschedule clients, but I beleive that God provides these days as opportunities to spend more time with my kids. Being a working mom, I always crave more time with my boys. Though I don't like them to be sick, I do see the blessing in being forced to take an extra day off to be with them. And what about those ice days last week! Thank you Lord for always providing what I need, even in unexpected ways. Instead of getting stressed by life's detours, I have decided to see them as Divine Detours that can strengthen me in growth or restore my soul. Despite my obvious failings, you are so good to me Lord. I can never doubt that when I am snuggling with my two beauties! Who says boys aren't beautiful? Mine sure are. They constantly show me God's love. With all of the ice days and sicknesses going around, I hope everyone enjoys the blessings they can bring, I sure am.

I have to admit that some days I am tired and frustrated with people. It seems like life would be easier if I could just live life alone, where no temptation was present. For better or worse other people do affect us and life can be draining. But there is no such thing as a holy hermit, so I must resist the temptation to be selfish and lazy holed up by myself. I have to get out in the world to do the work God has planned for me before I was even born. All of us must get out in the messy mud and muck of life if we are to serve God and grow to climb on His High Places. People are messy, life is messy, that is just how God made it. Messy is ok. As long as I am walking with my Lord, he will cleanse me as needed.

Habakuk 3:19 "God, the Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like hinds' feet, he makes me tread upon my high places."

Romans 12:5 "so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

Besides not being able to do God's work if we are hermitted away, it is utter conceit to think that we can walk alone. None of us are perfect. If we were, we wouldn't need Jesus. His sacrifice would be for nothing. No, we need each other. When one falls the other will lift him up. Not "if" but "when". God knows us well and stated that knowledge in his word. Expect trials and failures. We are human in an imperfect world full of sinners. But there is value in the body of Christ. Our Lord blessed us with this gift to help us because he knew we needed it. Don't reject that gift. If you do, you reject God's help for yourself through others he sends to you. You also withold help to others that God may want you to help. It affects everyone.

2 Corinthians 1:4 "God helps us so that we can help others with the same help that we ourselves have received from God."

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another."

We can't stand, walk or grow in the Lord without helping each other. God uses others as divine help or divine friction to help us grow more in His image. Give up the conceit of independence and pride. They only keep you from hearing God's truth and leading. Humble yourself and accept His gift. Thank God for the blessing of the body.

Today I am at home with a sick child. Instead of feeling frustrated, I always look at these days as an opportunity to spend more time with my kids. I just figure God is giving me a day to slow down, take care of myself and my kids and spend some precious time with them. It is a blessing in disguise.

I ran across an old devotional book and started looking through it. I have read it several times, but not in many years. It is a classic most people know. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it. "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It is awesome and it always pricks my heart when I need to hear from God. Today I read about Philippians 1:20-21

"My eager expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

This is the basis of being our utmost for His highest, being all we can be, our best for our Lord. To do that we have to surrender all. That is hard and requires courage. I, personally have struggled with this. I want to follow my own will most of the time and rarely ask what His will is. As awful as it sounds, the truth is the truth. I am fearful of what God may ask of me. I would rather make decisions based on my desires, security and logic, and what others expect than on what God tells me to do. That is my first instinct at least. With much prayer and surrender, I remind myself that His will is best no matter what the outcome or cost. What used to hold me back the most was fear of my decisions for God, hurting others around me. Yes, our obedience or sin always has a ripple affect and touches those around us. I finally had to give up the worry and follow God, leaving my loved ones in His hands, trusting He would take care of them too.

God's ways don't always seem to make sense. It forces us into a moment of crisis, whether to exercise our faith or not. Oswald Chambers calls this the "Great Divide". This is the moment that we decide to live for him or for ourselves, whether to trust Him or ourselves and the world. Will we surrender? I think the cost is worth it, no matter what it may be. Our God is worth everything. In the end He is all we really have. And what else could we want? He is our all in all. I am praying daily, moment by moment to trust Him for the plans He has for me and my family. It may sound simple and silly to some, but for me this is big. I hope you have the desire to do the same. I am praying for all of our faith, to grasp hold of all that He has for us so that we can be our utmost for His highest.

This week has been a little trying. Though God has been speaking to my heart about trusting Him for His best and for His provision, circumstances have been testing me. Getting the kids back into the school routine after the 2 week break was fun, especially after finding a baby kitten on our doorstep that we felt obligated to swoop in and save (despite my horrible allergies), searching frantically to find it a home as fast as we could before my head exploded from allergies or the kids were too attatched. Just to add to our drama, I brilliantly decided on a last minute whim to start painting Max's room a color he had picked out a few months ago. Of course this was before the kitten was found. As usual, the painting task was much bigger than I had anticipated and his room is a mess with half painted walls and his toys and furniture pushed together in a mass in his room and other parts disseminated throughout the house. It is a mess. The saga continued as the dryer decided it had, had its last day so I had tons of laundry piling up and no underclothes left to wear to work. Then Monday, during my driving around to therapy appointments around the county, my tire went flat--to the ground--. I had to air it up just to get to a tire store. I sat and cancelled a few client appointments and then was told that I needed to get 3 new tires actually, an alignment job and new front brakes. Yes this happens to be the same old car that I just had a new transmission put in last summer. UGH! For the cherry on top, both of our car insurance bills showed up in the mail this week to pay.

Needless to say, the enemy was firing a lot of arrows and my faith was faltering. Where is the provision Lord! Well, I found the provision in His word and in prayer. Yes He does humble me often. These are the sweet verses God gave me this week that helped:

(Habakkuk 2:3) "The vision is for the appointed time. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, for it will surely come."

(Hebrews 11:6) "No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."

Yes I pulled more money out of savings and we got a new dryer and I got my car fixed. The cat was taken to an adoption site, this weekend we will finish painting Max's bedroom and I can finally really clean the house again. These too shall pass, but the faithfulness of our Lord never passes, His mercies are new every morning. I just hope that the enemy's attacks mean that something really big from God is coming our way. Nothing can thwart the plans of our God. Stand strong. Keep believing His truth and promises in His word.

I have to confess. For the last few (well lets be honest...many years) I have been negligent on my scripture memoriztion. I have a simple system that makes it easy to keep up with them all. I just still have a hard time remembering to do it. Some of you may not think much about it, but this has been a big part of my walk with God since my college days. It is a way that God speaks to me, and without it, I tend to falter in spending my much needed time with Him. This affects everything. God has been compelling me in many little ways (soft, subtle and sweet... as he gently woos me, leading me back to Him) to spend more time with Him in prayer and in His word. I feel that He has something He wants to do and He wants me to trust Him for His best. I have struggled with trusting Him ever since Jason was sick for so long and our finances plummeted and debt grew. It was such a dark time with so many different trials hitting us at the same time and it went on and on with no end in sight. My faith waned and I became even more of a grumbling Israelite wandering around in the desert. But God was faithful and we survived. Unfortunately my spiritual disciplines didn't survive.

I have started back on my daily scripture memorization system. If anyone wants to do it, here is any easy way to start. Don't be intimidated. Start with simple verses that mean a lot to you. Write several on 3x5 index cards. Just do one to start with. Memorize it for a week or two then add another. Have some ready to add, that you like. Get a box (a recipe box works well). Use index divider cards and label on of them "Daily". Label others the names of the days of the week so that you have Sunday through Saturday. Then label the rest 1-31 for the days of the month. Now you have daily, weekly and monthly ones to choose for the day. Eventually when you have a lot to keep up with you can just pull a few from each (e.g. today I pulled from the sections: Daily, Thursday, and 1.). Once you have a verse memorized fairly well, move it from Daily section to Weekly (one of the days of the week so that balanced out and not too many for some days). Once that verse becomes so easy to remember and well known to you that you can go a month before needing a review, move it to a day of the month. It is a constant process that keeps it easy. That way you don't have to review every one every day, only as needed.

To make it even easier, I got a key ring, punched a hole in all of the verse cards and made dividers for my key ring of Daily, Weekly and Monthly. Then as I pull the verses for the day, I put them in the section of the key ring so that I can take it with me anywhere. I can glance down as needed and repeat the verse many times before flipping to the next one. This keeps God's word with you always at hand, especially when it is written in your heart! It makes His word so much more personal and impactful. I have learned that He can draw a verse to mind when I need it and use it at different times in so many different ways to make it come to life. It is a huge comfort for me and helps my anxiety. I tend to worry a lot. Anyway, I hope this helps some of you. It has been a huge blessing to me. Psalm 119:11 "Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee."

After all of that explanation, here is the verse I wanted to share with you today. It really touched my heart. Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Wow. What a blessing. What a good God we have. To think that he rejoices over us, that we can bring a smile to his beautiful face, that he loves us so much. It made me think of a father, taking the time in his busy day to stop and enjoy watching his child. In all of Gods busy, important, eternal business/work, he still takes time to stop and enjoy us. He smiles and shouts with joy over us. Whether we deserve it or not, and none of us do, we have a great God. Thank God for that! So rejoice in Him, for he certainly rejoices in us.